How to Get Through a Breakup
How to Get Through a Breakup
Getting through a breakup is one of the hardest emotional challenges we face. Whether you initiated it or not, the loss of a relationship brings up grief, fear, doubt, and sadness. But moving through this pain is possible—and healing is on the other side.
Here are the key steps:
1. Leave Denial Behind
Before healing can begin, you must accept that the relationship is not good for you. Even if it wasn’t your decision to break up, staying emotionally attached to someone who can’t fully commit to you will keep you stuck.
If you're still trying to convince yourself—or your partner—that things can work, you haven’t accepted the reality of the situation. Ask yourself:
Are you afraid of feeling loss, loneliness, or failure?
Are you prioritizing fear over your long-term well-being?
Reminder: These feelings won’t last forever. You have what you need inside you to get through this, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
2. “Let Go” and Feel Your Feelings
Once you’ve accepted the breakup, allow yourself to grieve. The only way out is through. That means letting go of:
Fantasies of reconciliation
The urge to replace the relationship quickly
Avoidance or emotional numbing
You’ll need to feel it all—sadness, anger, fear, maybe even shame. The pain will come in waves, and the waves will fade over time. Don’t numb it or run back to the relationship to avoid it. You can take space where needed (e.g. at work), but carve out time to process.
3. Grieve the “Good Parts”
Even the most painful relationships have good parts. That doesn’t mean the relationship was good overall. But these moments are often what keep people emotionally stuck.
This is called euphoric recall—a defense mechanism where your brain clings to the good while blocking out the hard.
To move forward:
Acknowledge the good
Grieve the loss of it
Remind yourself of the full picture—not just the highlights
4. Keep Yourself Motivated
Even when you know it wasn’t a good relationship, doubts will arise. That’s normal. Be ready for those moments.
Tools to stay grounded:
Journal about why the relationship didn’t work
Ask a trusted friend to be your emotional anchor—someone who will gently remind you of why you left
Let yourself feel regret and sadness, then release it through tears
Move your body—exercise boosts mood and clears emotional fog
Add to your “break-up toolbox” with comforting, empowering activities
5. Give It Time
Grief doesn’t follow a deadline. It takes as long as it takes—but you can support the process by:
Allowing your feelings
Letting go of denial
Practicing self-care
This includes social connection, spending time with pets, reading empowering books, staying physically healthy, and resting when needed. These don’t distract—they nourish.
6. Build Self-Confidence
Breakups hurt even when they’re necessary. But when you face the discomfort, you grow.
You’ll learn:
What helps and what hinders your healing
How to ask for support
That you’re strong enough to survive heartbreak
Even if the shift is subtle, you’ll come out with more resilience. And one day, you’ll say:
“That was awful, but I did it. I know now that pain isn’t forever—and neither is heartbreak.”
7. Watch for Stalled Grief
Grief can last anywhere from a few weeks to over a year. That’s normal. But sometimes, the process gets stuck. This is called stalled grief—when something interferes with your ability to move forward.
Signs of stalled grief:
Obsessing over your ex
Prolonged sadness that becomes depression
Irritability and anger outbursts
Fear of future relationships
Self-harm or substance use
If this sounds familiar, consider seeking support from a licensed therapist. A trained professional can help you safely work through complicated grief and trauma.
Related Post:
“The only way out is through. Feel it, honor it, and trust that healing will follow.”
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Healing after a breakup isn’t easy—but it’s possible. Learn how to face the pain, let go with intention, and build emotional resilience as you move through the process.