What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and How is it Related to Attachment?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and is rooted in attachment theory, which views humans as innately social and wired for close, intimate relationships. Attachment theory explains the stress and behaviors we exhibit in response to challenges in our closest relationships, particularly when we lack consistent emotional security.

When significant relationships are in distress, individuals may adopt anxious or avoidant behaviors, driven by attachment-related fears. This can trigger a negative cycle where protest and distance replace connection and understanding. EFT uses attachment science to identify and slow down these negative patterns, helping couples and individuals reshape their interactions and improve emotional regulation.

EFT emphasizes understanding emotions, communicating clearly, and fostering nurturing responses in relationships. Whether in couples coaching or individual coaching, EFT explores the emotions generated by connection, helping clients break free from negative cycles and develop secure, fulfilling relationships.

The Three Stages of EFT Coaching

Stage 1: De-escalation

The first stage focuses on identifying distressing interaction patterns and de-escalating the negative cycle. This stage typically takes 5–20 sessions and involves:

• Gaining a history of the relationship and individual attachment experiences.

• Recognizing triggers and unraveling steps of the negative cycle.

• Helping both partners understand how their protective behaviors impact the relationship.

Goal: Shift perceptions from seeing each other as "the enemy" to understanding the negative cycle as the real issue. As communication improves and repair happens faster, couples transition to Stage 2.

Stage 2: Restructuring

The second stage is about creating new, deeper patterns of interaction. Partners learn to:

• Share emotions and vulnerabilities in a safe space.

• Show acceptance and compassion for each other.

• Address fears, insecurities, and doubts that hinder trust and connection.

Coaches guide couples in expressing their needs and desires clearly and responding to each other with empathy and support. This stage typically takes 5–15 sessions.

Goal: Build a secure relationship where partners feel safe, understood, and supported by each other.

Stage 3: Consolidation

The final stage focuses on solidifying progress and creating a plan for maintaining emotional connection. Over 2–4 sessions, couples:

• Review the positive changes made.

• Develop strategies to prevent future negative cycles.

• Create a roadmap for sustaining their emotional bond long term.

Goal: Ensure that the relationship remains strong and secure, even through future challenges.

Why Choose EFT Coaching?

EFT coaching helps clients uncover the root causes of relationship distress, offering tools to:

• Understand and regulate emotions.

• Improve communication and break negative cycles.

• Build trust, intimacy, and emotional security.

Whether you’re seeking to repair a struggling relationship or deepen your connection, EFT coaching provides a structured, proven path toward lasting change.

Schedule Your Coaching Session

Ready to experience the benefits of EFT coaching? Book a session today to start building a secure, fulfilling relationship.