Men’s Group

These groups are dedicated to creating a community for the safe and purposive exploration of self, partners, and life in general. The group strives to increase emotional availability and awareness, catch our blocks to, and find openings for more fulfilling relationship connections, and discover more adaptive ways to engage with the world, ourselves, and the people we love. We also share the struggles and victories of this healing work together.

On this page, you'll find information about our group's goals and some examples of the types of conversations we have.

Main Goals:

1) Create community for the safe & purposive exploration of self, partners, & life in general

2) Increase emotional availability & awareness

3) Catch our blocks to, and find openings for, more fulfilling relationship connections

4) Consider attachment styles & experiences

5) Discover more adaptive ways to engage with the world, ourselves, & the people we love

6) Share the struggles & victories of this healing work together

Examples of Our Conversations

  • Do you identify more as anxious, avoidant, secure, or disorganized in terms of attachment tendencies?

  • How do we find someone/reach for someone when we’re in need? Ask for what we want? What are healthy prosocial considerate ways to do so?

  • What’s beneath anger & reactivity?

  • How do we give our partners space? Honor their needs for alone time? For friendships and commitments outside the relationship?

  • (we laugh together too)

  • Conversations about sex, emotions, communication & intimacy

  • Forgiveness of others, of self....

  • How do we Validate & empathize in new ways

  • Responsiveness compared with defensiveness

  • Who was there in childhood when you needed help?

  • How did you know or feel you were loved AS A BOY? How about now?

  • Apologizing/making amends

  • Repairing conflict with loving presence

  • Expressing feelings of overwhelm

  • Unconscious/unintentional bodily expressions (tone, body language, etc…) & impact versus intention

  • How to sit with someone in their pain without taking over, rushing them, running from their intensity, talking them out of it, providing answers too quickly, etc…

  • How to “travel lighter" through the world…. what weight do we carry, emotionally, socially, etc… & how would we rather show up if possible? &, often finding the ideal possible, how would we begin to redirect our patterns of behavior, how would we begin now with right-sized expectations, & what might keep us from succeeding? How to celebrate sucess?

  • How can we rely on each other in this group for the support that can help us grow in the ways we want?

The groups will be led by Joshua Ollswang who has, for over 10 years, founded and led men’s groups in Manhattan, Chicago, Montana, and Virtually. He has participated with men’s groups in London, Wisconsin, and Los Angeles as well. He has been helping individuals and families for more than 15 years in various therapeutic capacities, and is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in couples therapy, men’s and women’s issues, gifted children, survivors of abuse/neglect, as well as hopes for connection, meaning, intimacy, healing and a few other areas about which he’d be happy to talk with you.

In academic journals he’s published papers focusing on psychotherapeutic theories and their applications in our lives. At professional psychological association conferences he’s presented on gender roles, focusing on how to move from disempowerment to empowerment. He has helped people find harmony and ways forward through painful periods of loss and disconnection, emerging into novel understandings and more adaptive relational patterns, into shared healing and relief.

He’s earned a master’s degree from the University of Chicago focused on clinical mental health interventions, a master’s degree from the European Graduate School in Switzerland focused on psychotherapeutic theories, and a bachelor’s degree in psychology. Additional post-graduate training has focused on offering couples support through skills and insights gained from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, Trauma-Informed Care, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Interpersonal Neurobiology, and Intrapsychic Humanism.

In his free time he loves cold water open swimming, creative projects, metalworking, reading & writing, multiplayer chess (3, 4, and 5 people), exercise/working out/hot yoga, and spending time with the people he loves and by whom feels loved. (And Star Wars)

Men's Groups rates vary based on specifics of each group and, when openings are available, will be shown in the sign-ups below. If there are no sign-up options available below for individuals, couples, or groups, that means Joshua has a full caseload presently. It's wonderful you're reaching out for support, whether with him or someone else, and If you would like to be put on the waitlist for Joshua, please reach out to support@thesecurerelationship.com

“I appreciated having a safe space to connect emotionally with other men. It was comforting to hear how other guys were able to grow from struggles with their relationships.”

—Statistics professor, single, dating a wonderful woman he’s honoring incredibly

“What I liked about the men’s group was being able to share stories of the ups and downs in our relationships within a circle of trust and non-judgement. We are like-minded men who have had many of the same experiences, and it is comforting to realize through sharing our stories that the difficulties we’ve all experienced are both normal and correctable.”

—Military special forces, finding purpose in rekindling his natural leadership skills in community, passionate husband, and devoted father of two young children, discovering intrepidly who he is as a civilian

“Men’s group in my opinion is a starting place to being fully seen. The group provides almost an internal anchor to rely on.”

—Professional screen writer, working powerfully to show the strength of love he has for his wife and two school-aged children