About The Secure Relationship

A movement for secure love, rooted in science—and story.

At the height of COVID-19, Julie Menanno, MA, LMFT, LCPC started a small Instagram account to share attachment insights from her therapy practice in Bozeman, Montana. What began with hand-drawn comics, funny bird memes, and her dog Scout unexpectedly grew into something much bigger—a global platform for relationship transformation.

Today, The Secure Relationship offers far more than Instagram advice. With a full team of skilled, attachment-informed coaches across the country, Julie’s mission has evolved into a multifaceted approach to building secure, connected relationships for people all over the world.

What We Offer

We bring together education, coaching, and community through resources that are grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and attachment theory:

Meet Julie

Julie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and relationship coach, specializing in attachment and couples dynamics. Her work is deeply influenced by the Emotionally Focused Therapy model, and her ability to translate complex concepts into accessible, practical tools has earned her a loyal audience of over 1.3 million people across social platforms.

When she’s not coaching, writing, or recording, Julie hosts The Secure Love Podcast, leads interactive group experiences, and supports a thriving team of coaches at The Secure Relationship.

Join the Community

We’re so glad you found us. Whether you’re single, dating, married, or somewhere in between, we’re here to help you grow into your most secure, authentic self—and create the kind of connection that lasts.

Start with our Attachment Style Quiz
Listen to The Secure Love Podcast
Explore our courses, groups, and coaching options

Let’s build secure relationships from the inside out. <3

“It’s emotional disconnection that destroys relationships, not fighting. Happy couples fight. The difference is that happy couples fight and find and find a way to turn back and connect again.” - Dr. Sue Johnson

Speaking each other&rsquo;s love language is advice on par with having a weekly date night&hellip;..for couples who already have a secure attachment, it&rsquo;s a great way to expand upon love and bond. But for those who don&rsquo;t, something else i
The truth is that everyone needs to feel successful in their relationship to feel safe, but those with avoidant attachment are particularly sensitive to messages they aren&rsquo;t getting it right. Anxious partners are more sensitive to signs of aban
Nobody likes feeling anger, but anger always has something important to say and needs to be heard. Those with anxious attachment have an especially painful experience with their own anger. They&rsquo;ve had good reasons to be angry in life, and were
When you were growing up, did anyone ever help you learn how to feel your feelings? It not, you might notice that you either stuff them down, get overwhelmed and act out on them, or alternate between the two. It doesn&rsquo;t have to be that way. It
You can never guarantee a partner will respond to your best self with their best self&hellip;.relationships are complicated and sometimes there are blocks to even the healthiest communication. You can, however, do your work to dramatically increase t
&ldquo;Stand your sacred ground.&rdquo; ❤️
Met attachment needs are the foundation of secure attachment. You can meet these needs not just by saying them directly (which is nice too), but in the way you treat your partner in general. When you communicate with your partner, are you sending mes
When you stop self-abandoning, and start showing up for yourself, you have less fear of physical or emotional abandonment by your partner (and others in general). When you have less fear of physical or emotional abandonment by your partner (because y
Is no amount of reassurance enough? Does the bar keep going higher? If you can relate to being on either side of testing behavior, here&rsquo;s some insight into what&rsquo;s really going on and what you might work on. ❤️ #secureattachment #Emotiona
Secure attachment is well worth the effort ❤️ #secureattachmentstyle #RelationshipGoals #MentalHealthMatters #RelationshipTips #LoveAndRelationships #secureattachment #EmotionalIntelligence #HealthyRelationships #SelfLove #RelationshipTherapy #disor
Do you recognize that you carry shame but have no idea what to do about it? Does it keep coming back to haunt you even when you try to develop new self-beliefs? Is shame taking a toll on your relationship when you and your partner act out on shame an
Our skin is a direct link to our nervous systems&hellip;..touch can inspire feelings ranging from soothed to excited. Most people know this intuitively, but some view touch as a less worthy way to emotionally connect than through words. The truth i
Give it a shot&hellip;.maybe something new will happen. Are there guarantees? No&hellip;..but you can increase the odds ❤️ #secureattachmentstyle #TherapyWorks #RelationshipGoals #EmotionalHealing #CouplesGoals #RelationshipTips #EmotionalIntellige
Growth over perfection ❤️ #EmotionalIntelligence #secureattachments #RelationshipTherapy #MentalHealthMatters #AttachmentTheory #LoveAndRelationships #RelationshipTips #CouplesGoals #secureattachmentstyle #EmotionalHealing #SelfLove #RelationshipAdv
When you&rsquo;re hurting, it&rsquo;s way too easy to make sense of the problem as &ldquo;I wouldn&rsquo;t be so anxious if they weren&rsquo;t so avoidant,&rdquo; but that&rsquo;s a reflection of blind spots, not the truth. Are there situations where
A secure relationship is the natural outcome of an attachment friendly environment ❤️ One area where I see couples getting the most stuck in their relationship is when one partner brings up a concern and the other doesn&rsquo;t stay with them. Yes,
Do you recognize that you carry shame but have no idea what to do about it? Does it keep coming back to haunt you even when you try to develop new self-beliefs? Is shame taking a toll on your relationship when you and your partner act out on shame an
One area where I see couples getting the most stuck in their relationship is when one partner brings up a concern and the other doesn&rsquo;t stay with them. Yes, your partner has a responsibility to discuss their concerns in a healthy way, but part