The Jen Hardy Show
Julie Menanno, MA Tells the Secret to the Secure Relationship
Julie Menanno is the queen of secure relationships. With over 1.2 MILLION followers on instagram on her "The Secure Relationship" account, she has the ability to explain detailed topics in a simple, easy to understand way, and this interview does just that! Whether your relationships with friends or family (or both) need a little pick-me-up, watching this will help!
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Ever wondered why your partner pulls away just when you want to get closer? Or maybe you're the one who needs a bit of space when things get intense. Well, Julie breaks down the avoidant attachment style—yes, the one where people distance themselves from emotional triggers due to unmet childhood needs. She dives into the all too common anxious-avoidant dynamic that 90% of couples experience. Trust me, if you've ever felt like you and your partner are playing an emotional game of tug-of-war, this part is a must-watch. Julie really knows the secrets to getting those relationships back on track, specializing in emotionally focused therapy (EFT) for couples. She also touches on how EFT is both effective, yet challenging to master.
Have you ever tried finding a good therapist, and felt like you were on a quest for the Holy Grail? Julie gets it! She talks candidly about the scarcity of skilled couples therapists and how her own team works across state lines as coaches to help as many people as possible.
Julie Menanno believes in a blending different therapy modalities for a truly holistic approach. She's not a fan of insurance companies pushing for limited CBT sessions. If therapy’s felt a bit one-dimensional to you, you'll want to hear this.
And we can’t forget about the buzzword of the century: narcissism. Julie clears up some major misconceptions and talks about the real deal when it comes to diagnosable narcissists. Spoiler alert: They are tough to have healthy relationships with. Julie's advice - run.
She also reflects on her personal journey through therapy, how it's impacted her relationship with her teenagers, and why letting go of control has been so freeing. You'll hear about her shift from being a "typical" parent to more of a guide, and how it’s worked wonders in making her kids feel emotionally safe. We also talk financial aspects, especially around supporting children—not just for college but also in their formative years. Julie has some stellar tips on outsourcing tasks like cleaning to ease your burden and focus on what truly matters.
And yes, she stresses that raising kids takes a village. If you don't have extended family around, it's crucial to build your own support network. Plus, she highlights the significance of making your children feel valued and treasured, rather than hurrying them out of the nest. Julie also takes care of her own well-being with daily walks, emphasizing that self-care isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity. So, if you’re feeling the burnout, maybe it's time for a walk around the block.
Did I mention her book? Yep, Julie wrote "Secure Love" and hosts an insightful podcast about couples and attachment theory. She even offers free PDF homework assignments on her website to complement the podcast episodes. Talk about going above and beyond!
We wrap up the conversation with some cultural reflections on family dynamics. It’s a rich discussion that you don't want to miss. From attachment theory to fostering emotional safety, Julie and I cover it all with warmth and a genuine desire to help you create a more connected, supportive relationship with your loved ones.
Dive into this episode—you won't regret it! And please like, comment, and subscribe. Share your thoughts and let's keep the conversation going. And as always, thanks for tuning in!
About
Life after 50 is just the beginning! Join Jen Hardy, bestselling author and award-winning podcaster, as she redefines what it means to thrive in midlife and beyond. Whether you’re looking for inspiration, wisdom, or a good laugh, this podcast is your go-to space for real talk, encouragement, and a fresh perspective on living your best life. From health and mindset to personal reinvention and joy-filled adventures, Fabulous Over 50 celebrates the confidence, resilience, and brilliance that come with experience. Aging isn’t always pretty, but who says we can’t throw some glitter at it and make it fabulous?
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In this week’s Secure Love Book Club, I guide you through Chapter 2, where we unpack the fundamentals of attachment theory and how it affects your ability to feel safe, seen, and connected in romantic relationships.