Emotional Support in Your Relationship
Partners Supporting Each Other
In the most successful relationships, partners work together to meet each other's emotional needs. However, expecting your partner to be your only source of emotional support can lead to problems.
Relying solely on each other places an unhealthy amount of pressure on both the relationship and the individuals.
Diversify Your Emotional Support System
Partners who are the most fulfilled have additional relationships that provide emotional support, such as friends, family members, or others.
Childhood vs. Adulthood Emotional Support
As Children: We rely on adults to meet our emotional needs.
As Adults: We are responsible for finding ways to meet our own emotional needs, with the help of others and through enjoyable, stimulating, or relaxing activities.
Providing Emotional Support to Yourself
Learning to support yourself emotionally is equally important. This means:
Feeling your emotions.
Validating your emotions.
Working to understand yourself.
Managing your emotions independently when others aren't available.
Without these skills, you may rely exclusively on external emotional support, which isn’t sustainable.
Facing All Parts of Yourself
To truly provide emotional support to yourself, you must be able to sit with all parts of yourself—even the parts you don’t like—in a supportive way.
Example:
If you're sensitive to criticism, instead of thinking:
"Why can't I just be different? I need to stop being so sensitive!"
Try saying to yourself:
"It makes sense that I’m sensitive to criticism given my past experiences. At one point, it helped me to be sensitive, but it’s not serving me anymore. This doesn’t make me bad; it’s an area where I can grow. I’m going to stop judging myself and focus on growth instead."
This is the kind of emotionally supportive language that a nurturing parent would use with their child. If you didn’t receive these messages as a child, it’s essential to learn how to give them to yourself now.
In Summary
Successful partners provide emotional support for each other and serve as each other’s primary support system.
Diversify your emotional support network to avoid placing too much pressure on your relationship.
Learn to provide emotional support to yourself by validating your emotions and fostering self-growth.
Resources to Strengthen Emotional Support in Your Relationship
"Secure Love" by Julie Menanno
Dive deeper into building emotional safety and secure attachment in relationships.
Learn the basics of attachment theory and how emotional patterns shape relationships.
Work with EFT-trained relationship coaches to strengthen emotional bonds.
Listen to real-time couples' coaching and learn practical strategies for emotional support.
Participate in bi-weekly sessions with Julie Menanno to deepen understanding and practice relational skills.
“The most successful relationships are built on emotional support, both from each other and from within.”
Other Posts You Might Like:
Learn how to build emotional support in your relationship by diversifying support systems and fostering self-support for deeper connection and balance.