Fear, Frustration and the Other Side of the Protest

In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, host Julie Menanno continues working with Melissa and Drew, building on their previous session. The couple reflects on a recent incident during their vacation where Melissa’s bid for connection at dinner went unanswered, triggering a familiar negative cycle and leading to her protest behavior.

This episode focuses on Drew’s perspective. He shares how the disconnect at dinner, combined with Melissa's protest, led him into his own negative cycle of frustration and fear of prolonged disconnection. Drew describes the emotional and physical toll of the situation, referring to a "knot in his stomach" and the overall feeling of "agony" from not being able to articulate himself well in the moment.

Julie helps them navigate these feelings, encouraging Drew to lean into vulnerability and sit with the discomfort. She explains that the knot in his stomach holds wisdom, guiding him on how to move through difficult moments and reconnect with Melissa.

Click here to see this episode’s transcript

 
Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC

Julie Menanno, MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. She earned her Master’s degree in Psychology from Phillips Graduate Institute in Los Angeles, CA. Julie operates a clinical therapy practice in Bozeman, Montana, and leads a global relationship coaching practice with a team of trained coaches. She is an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples and specializes in attachment issues within relationships.

Julie is the author of the best-selling book Secure Love, published by Simon and Schuster in January 2024. She provides relationship insights to nearly 1 million Instagram followers and hosts The Secure Love Podcast, where she shares real-time couples coaching sessions to help listeners navigate relational challenges. Julie also hosts a bi-weekly discussion group on relationship and self-help topics. A sought-after public speaker and podcast guest, Julie is dedicated to helping individuals and couples foster secure, fulfilling relationships.

Julie lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband of 22 years, their six children, and their beloved dog. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, skiing, Pilates, reading psychology books, and studying Italian.

https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/
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What Happens When the Avoidant Partner Faces Their Anger?

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A Protest for Love: Fighting to be Seen